Competing for Connection in a Noisy World
When I conducted interviews for Professor Jeanine Turner’s research, I asked for examples of how someone grabbed your attention in a memorable way. One of my favorite examples was when a teacher stood on his desk mid-lecture to get all his students to look up. Another once stopped talking completely until they all noticed the silence.
That’s competitive presence—fighting for someone’s attention not by force, but by creativity. Turner says we’ve always had to do this, but now the stakes are higher. Our competition isn’t just other people—it’s a thousand notifications, a newsfeed, a cute dog video, a whole world in your pocket.
It sounds exhausting, but it’s also a call to make your message matter. To be relevant, not loud.
I work in media production, where we talk about “earning the listen.” You can’t just demand that someone care—you have to meet them where they already are. That’s what Turner means by understanding your audience: not pandering, but empathizing.
She once told me that communication is basically sales. You’re selling someone on paying attention to you. That’s not manipulative; the way you gain the attention and what you are saying is all about being respectful. It means you recognize their freedom to look away.
Sometimes the best way to compete is to stop competing altogether. To pause. To say less. To be human enough to let silence do the work.
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Listen to Turner and my full conversation here.